This should be plain and simple. At least I hope so.
Recently I had an occurrence where I was given advice (I guess we will call it that) to better improve my life or to greater expand my relationship with God. I saw several problems with this "advice" and several ways that I could use it, to my advantage instead of the context I felt it was used it.
1. This person did not know me well.
2. This person does not know what my relationship with God/Jesus/Holy Spirit is like, whether it is on the fritz or if it is on cloud nine (I've always wanted to use that).
3. Whether or not it was given with absolute sincerity, which I highly doubt because of the situation....why would a christian, say to someone(me the other christian), "hey if you just do this and this and this...or let God heal you....things will be better". I mean that just makes me want to further and further push myself away from the crowd. I honestly hope that no christian would ever tell a non-religious person that God will fix all of your problems or make you instantly happy. Listen brother...that is just not realistic. I mean of course He offers a insurmountable love that we cannot experience from anyone or anything else, but I don't believe He will wash away all of the troubles in life in a jiffy. It takes time. Prayer. Faith. If we just got everything we wanted instantly from God, the world would not only be chaos, but it is unrealistic. We would never appreciate what good things are still left in the world.
That was off topic...but....
I am here to tell you that when we stumble...it sucks....and sometimes when we stumble hard it takes a while to get back up. Things do not tend to get better overnight....or even after a few days. I mean sometimes it takes months. There is no easy way to get through a hard part of life. Hopefully when you finally see the light you can grab onto it and get the hell out of there.
I felt attacked by the statements that were passed along towards me. I felt like I was being told by someone 'superior' what to do. I felt like lesser of a christian because of the apparently easy answer and easy solution.
Now...after a couple of weeks I have had time to sit and ponder everything. Maybe the advice was given out of true sincerity. Whether or not it was I have taken this from it...
I felt it was approached the completely wrong way. I believe in loving people for who they are and making sure that is shown. I believe the true way to bring someone to Christ is to express the love that He gives to you and then present that to those who need it. I do not see the purpose of these comments that are asked and used everyday by millions of believers.
We are recruited to tell everyone go do this and do that. Tell someone that God will save them if they just stop sinning. (well yeah he will save you...he has already saved you...he will always love you no matter what) I think by loving someone you attract them towards this lifestyle that God really wanted us to live out. Not this publicly, "i am a christian, look at me, i do good things'', self-righteous, or arrogant prick lifestyle, which I have noticed more and more people are living. Hey I am not saying I am not an arrogant person. I am full of myself. I hate it and I know it is not any worse, but I could never come down on someone by telling them that their relationship with God is faulty or that they need to do this, that or the other to fix it.
Unless......goes back to point 1....unless they were a dear friend of mine and I knew that he or she was struggling and I knew their story. I believe we are called to be there for people and for our friends. I do not appreciate the advice coming from someone who has no idea who I am or what I am about. I know I am bitter because of the situation...but come on...don't ever give someone advice where you don't know the full situation, story, or all of the details, just to boost your own ego or to make yourself feel good.
"Yeah God, I totally gave that guy some advice that he really needed today. He was lost and now he knows what to do!" I just imagine us doing this over and over. Read this.
Romans 3 : 10,20 “There is no one righteous, not even one...For no one is declared righteous before him by the works of the law, for through the law comes the knowledge of sin"
Don't be a self righteous person. Don't do it for your own self worth.
Say this instead..."God I totally loved that guy today. He really needed it. He is still lost, but he knows that I love him no matter what he has done or does. Help me to continually provide your love to him."
Advantages of this conversation...
1. Keep my friends (I actually know them and their stories) accountable and don't be afraid to help them out
2. Don't act like I know what anyone else is going through because I have no idea
3. Don't offer a quick fix, there isn't one. Give love. Offer advice if they truly want it.
-Christopher Adam
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