The title...is from a "Swell Season" song. I am taking it out of context and applying it to my life in a different way.
A conversation I have had with God recently.
"Well I am here again. Why? Give me a reason, because I do not see one, and I know I barely got through it last time." - Picture a lot of anger in that.
"You have broken me"
Maybe this is a good thing. I think that life is life, and we go through so many different struggles and battles and a lot of the times we come out just broken and beaten. I distinctly know the feeling and not even just over a month ago I was at a peace with God that I had never felt. I want that. I long for it and know that it is coming. I just have to get through some unfortunate bumps along the way. I do know that I have to run to him, because he is waiting on me.
How easy would life be if we never had to long for him or search for him? If he always just came to us. I think he does always come to us, but it does take us opening up and "searching" wanting to have him help us that is what breaks that despair. (I ramble a lot and dont make sense most of the time).
But I am prepared to go through being broken all the way down.In order to find My Savior on the other side with arms open and he is just smiling. I can see it now. He will guide me to him. I will be ok. I just need to constantly be in prayer and seeking him. I will make it. I know it.
Relationships are tricky. Dont underestimate the power of them.
God guide me. Lead me. I know I will have bad days and bad nights, but you are there. And just by typing that previous sentence...I know you will hold me and love me. Please be with me. I am selfish right now and I think I need to be.
Selfish praying...that is the next topic I will discuss. Goodbye. I leave whoever reads this with some lyrics/verses.
"Lord, show me the way. I ask of you Father, let my words be your words.
Let my thoughts be your thoughts.
To you, I give my praise.
Show me the way. Take me in your arms. Never let me go.
Lord, show me the way, as I give myself to you.
Never let me go.
Hold me with your everlasting love."
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you." Isaiah 41:10.
"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1.
-Christopher Adam Wilkerson
