Been about a month. I guess it is time for me to write some nonsense. Also to anyone who actually does read this...I literally do not have any solid answers. I mean if you can tell...I am just a kid who is rambling trying to figure it out. If I have offended or do offend you in anyway, just click the small X at the top right corner or the left corner(for mac users only). I am only hoping to enlighten and I have no intentions on upsetting or offending. I am literally stumbling around in the darkness trying to grab onto some light when I see it.
I mean that sentence "you need to become closer to God, that is the problem!" It makes me think of the hundreds of times I have heard it directed towards people I know or just others who it should not be directed towards. I mean while we are at it....
"you need to go to church"
"you need to stop sinning"
"you need to read your bible more"
"you better come to this retreat or meeting and we will fix you"
"please give me your money because by partaking in our extensive 10 week program we can get your life back on track"
ok....ummm...pass. Yes, Pat I would love to solve the puzzle....Alex, what is......Mr. Barker the price is.....
Christianity, what is "legalism" and the price is millions of dollars....I win! Where is my prize?
I find two enormous problems with the title of this post...the word need and closer.
I have heard this statement and I have said it to myself multiple times in my life. I don't understand how keeping a consistent track record at church can improve you in the kingdom of heaven. I mean have you been to church lately? It is slim freaking pickens out there. I feel like I can't swear around these christians or make a inappropriate joke. "stop sinning?" oh ok yeah cause that is really easy....maybe I will just read the bible more....listen I am a terrible bible reader...I mean I love paul's writing, but lets just be thankful he is a forgiving God, cause those dudes back then definitely needed some hooks in their writing cause it is dry at some parts.
I know I am making jokes and being very sarcastic but I am being trying to be honest. Here is a bold statement...I don't need to do anything to in order for God or Jesus to love me more or even less. I cannot change that about him. That is what is amazing...So should we even go to church or read bibles or this and that? Well of course....I am not saying that at all. I love meeting with a small number of people and sharing stories and discussing God and the bible. To me that is church...and it does not need to be in a "church". I am pretty sure it is more effective if it is not in a "churchy" setting. Cause let's be honest....if you are sitting in a big church...you are trying to get out of there as soon as possible in order to be the first in line at the coffee shop (in the church). Hey man you like your coffee! No big deal. Have it your way, its the burger king slogan.
But seriously...need? Ok so I neeeeeeed to do this in order for God to accept me? Why would we ever put that pressure on someone? That is clearly the opposite of what Jesus represents. We should be rejoicing and celebrating our lives that we have been given. Even through all of the shit that everyone goes through....yes...you...if you think that you have not had any shit come your way...just wait cause it is coming....I am not excited about mine either....and to those of you who wonder when your "shit" will stop....(that is not meant the way it sounds)...it will stop. I don't know when but I promise you that it will one day and hopefully if you are lucky God will present himself to you. I mean he always presents himself, but he definitely makes it easier sometimes.
Imagine life if there was no evil...no death...no sin...and it was not hard to engage in a relationship with God or Jesus. We all actually constantly devoted our lives to learning about the father. Oh how that life would be easier...but that is not the world we live in. We live in a world where it is easier for me to listen to Satan most of the times rather than God. Satan's way just always sounds better!!! It sounds more fun!
I just want grow closer to God....oh wait...what? What does that even mean? Grow closer to God? I am sure that someone has put a definition on it...but damn. So now I have to grow closer to him? How is that possible? What does it even mean to grow closer to God? I thought we shared a relationship? We have a relationship so how would it not grow deeper instead of closer? I like the word deeper and I think it applies to this instead of growing closer. You always hear people say to get closer to God...but how am I supposed to find out more information about him because every time I find out something new I run into more questions and brick walls.
Exactly. Deeper...is the way. Grow deeper by searching and learning...asking questions. He will probably ease your mind with a few of them...but you may be stuck with the others until you die. I am sorry to break it down like that but its the trooooth! I mean even if the questions were answered...don't you think there would be more questions? It is a never ending cycle. Trying to box up the unboxable. God is so mysterious that you barely know anything...yet you have to invest in a relationship where he knows everything about you and what you have done and will do. All we have on him is a tiny tiny sand particle.
You and God are already as close as you will be...because he is so close to you it is impossible for him to be any closer. I mean like seriously...he is in my room right now and I kind of wish he would give me some peace and quiet. "Hey-zeus, back up off me" is what I just said out loud. We cannot grow closer...but we can get deeper!
Something that is random but I read about it last night was about not giving up on searching and learning....
I just started reading Velvet Elvis and Rob says that it is good to question and good to search. Well that makes me feel better...cause I have been searching and questioning for about a year now...I def have some of my answers (which sprouted new questions) but I have learned that God and I have deepened our relationship. It is a slow process...really slow.
One thing that encouraged me about 4 or so months ago was from a woman who is in her late 70's. She is quite possibly one of the wisest and loving person I have met. I said something one time along the lines of searching for God and questioning him and his shenanigans.
She responded something like so..."Adam I am nearly 80 years old and I have not stopped learning new things about our glorious God. He has never stopped revealing himself to me in anything and everything. And son, he wont stop."
That gave me hope and comfort...as well as fear. I was glad to hear that he doesn't give up on people but I was frightened to hear that she was just as lost as I was, but ahead in the game than me.
I don't know how I feel about this post since I literally just wanted to write again so I kept going and tried to see what my mind would type. It typed this. So I sincerely hope that whoever reads it gets something out of it.
Oh and to all of those "christians" who spread the news and bring people to christ and stuff...hey great job, but make sure that numbers are not your priority....relationships are your priority.
Bring joy to those around you and that is God's work right there.
Just remember....you don't need to do what these people are telling you. They will take your money.
Here is a sweet quote from C.S. Lewis and it is the most truth I have heard in a while.
"If you're thinking of becoming a Christian, I warn you, you're embarking on something which will take the whole of you"
"Wait on the Lord and keep His way and He shall exalt you" Psalm 37:34.
-Christohperson Wilkerson
