friendship. it is very important to me. especially these 2

Whenever I think back on high school. I think of a couple of things. I think of playing drums in our band for a few years. I remember how there was really nothing to do in high school. I remember sitting at the lunch tables after eating and just talking to friends. But. The part I remember and miss the most was my senior year. I feel like my senior year was one of the greatest years of my life. I became good friends with 2 people that year. I became very close to them both and loved and still love them to this day. We were inseparable. We hung out all of the time. We were the three 'amigos', as a lot of dorky people say. 

High school came and went in a few weeks it seemed. Summer began and then college started. College went by even faster. I mean it is almost the end of my 4th year. I have graduated and am in graduate school. What happened to seeing my 2 friends everyday after school? Playing music in my garage? Going to a parking lot and doing nothing? Being bored? Now life has come and we got ourselves in a big damn hurry it seems. Just like Brooks says in shawshank redemption.

The thing I love about these two people is how we all appreciate each other whether or not we are vocal about it. It is just understood. We are all too proud almost anyway to even say it out loud. That is a 'guy' for ya I guess.

Here is where my dilemma comes into play. I know I am no where near perfect and I never claim to be. I don't want anyone to ever get the impression I have all the answers, because I do not. But I always wanted to do my best to be an example or just be there for them. I feel like I don't have the answers anymore. I felt at one time I could be there for them anytime and help comfort them with whatever they needed. Now I just feel like I do not have any advice that makes anything better. I always wanted to be strong and present no weakness, but that is impossible. I am in a point in my life where I am growing up myself and going through many life changes. It hurts me when I do not have an answer...I want to have a 'magic answer' that makes it all better. But I am looking for that answer myself.

Life would be easier if we could go back to that senior year I believe. Now things are very different. They are harder.

Mike - I have known you for a long time. I honestly never would have thought you would be put in my life the way you were. I have respect for you more than anyone on this earth, and that is the absolute truth. I care about what you think more than anyone I have ever met and I don't think that will change. I have seen you at all time low's and all time high's. You have been through so much that it just hurts me to think about. I would do anything in this world for you and have never bonded with someone like I have you. I love you and appreciate everything you are and have done for me. As for Madison....I know how much she means to you. She makes you actually express yourself, which let's face it, you like to keep that inside. I would not be where I am without you. I love you like I love my own brother.


Joe - I have also known you for a long time. I remember how you and I never clicked until senior year. I hope you know how much I love you. I always hated how people never could look at a person's heart. You have a heart that I don't even know you are aware of. It is such a forgiving and loving heart. You have been through so much as well. I hate it for you and wish nothing but happiness for you. I hate it that I cannot provide you with an adequate answer that will make you feel better. I can only hope that the good times are right around the corner. I have told you things that no one else has ever heard. I will never...ever...think any differently of you. I will never and have never thought any less of you. You could never do anything to make me love you any less. That is a promise. I will always love you and want to be in your life. If you let me, I will. You make me laugh every time I am around you. You are a genuine person. I want you to know how I care about you. 

Friendships are usually only for a particular season in our lives. Friends come and friends go. I cannot accept this statement when it pertains to our friendship. I will not accept it. There was and still is something too strong for us to think that our friendship was a season. I love you both. I pray for you both often. I don't think I will ever run into a friendship like this one again.

I can only hope and pray that we all grow up into the people we were made to be. I know that during this specific moment may be difficult for us all. But I have seen how strong both of you are. And I know...I really do know....we will all make it.

"give ear to my words, Lord, consider my sighing,
listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray,
in the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation"
Psalm 5:1-3

I am waiting for them to be answered.

I love you both.

Tell me another story.

-Christopher Adam Wilkerson