So you don't want to go to church anymore? Eh?

“Although I had been a Christian for more than two decades, I had no concept of who Jesus was as a person and no idea how I could change that.”

That is a quote from this book I have been reading. I have not be a Christian for over two decades and I would like to think I have or have had some concept of who Jesus was as a person. But I just recently discovered how to "change that".

I consider Jesus the same as God. Both are love. Both are amazing. 

I find many themes in this book and I have almost finished it. I absolutely love it because of how down to earth it is. It is, to me, "Christianity that is actually all about following Christ", not "Christianity that seeks approval or makes one feel better for doing good deeds". I could go on and on with that stuff, but the purpose of this post is to describe what I have already taken out of it. I have not even finished it, but I am already planning on re-reading it in order to fully soak it in.

The main character in the book is constantly searching and trying to figure out how to grow closer to God. He goes through many trials, complications, and low points in his life. He tries to find God at first, by creating these excessive routines or schedules and learns that it does not work that way. I am not against a "quiet time" (have not said that reference in a while) every morning. I do not think that is wrong at all. I think it is wrong when we, as people set up these schedules and routines and then miss a day or two and then we look down upon ourselves, or even sometimes get the notion that God is disappointed we missed that quiet time. I think that is silly if we are striving to seek God and we truly want to know him more, but we focus on making every little thing right, when we all know that sometimes life is going to throw a curve ball at us and we will not be able to make our daily appointments. Trust me I am not knocking or bashing doing this! I like to read at night because I am not a morning person.

I have also realized that living in the moment that God has given us now is so important. Everyday is a chance to live in joy and I can definitely agree and know that hard times happen, but obsessing over the future can almost always only lead to trouble. I have learned to be able to almost always have my door open to talk to God/Jesus. I have learned that He doesn't require you to be in a church to talk to him. You don't have to be on your knees to pray. I have found some of my most connected moments with God have been while running or driving, or riding my bike. I am able to see the things he has done. I am able to listen to music and just open myself up. Sometimes I don't even say anything I just close my eyes and feel like I am receiving a hug. Every time I do that I just get the chill bumps all over. I have never felt that freedom like I do now.

I would like to believe it is because I am finally starting to learn and grow up, but by constantly seeking him out to help guide me. I am trying to accept wherever I go and whoever I go with, that is what should happen. I want to love whatever situation that is put in front of me.

But I rambled, like usual. Basically in the book so far, the main character has been counseled by this man he believed at one point was the Apostle John. John represents Jesus and does nothing but provide an amazing example of love, forgiveness, and a longing to establish a relationship.

I know it sounds weird...but I just thought of this. I want to have a stronger relationship with Jesus, than I do any person on this earth. That is a weird concept because we cannot physically see him. We are establishing a relationships built on faith and love. I failed to mention the Holy Spirit earlier, but this is how we have this connectedness and love with our Father. The Holy Spirit is what connects us. Also, we are so afraid to let ourselves be fully involved in relationships with other people, but it seems it should be easier with God because he has never done anything but tell us how much he loves us. Jesus wanted his message across, and that message was to connect with him...love him...love everyone else.

Seems simple enough? Well it's not. It is hard to love.

Just some random thoughts. Hope you can take something from it.

"In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul."

Psalm 138:3

He does answer, but sometimes it takes a while. Be patient those of you who are longing for something. He will never ever put you through something you cannot handle or that is not worth it in the end.

-Christopher Adam