Hurting, healing, grace

"I suppose that since most of our hurting comes through relationships, so will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside."

 So I started re-reading The Shack again. This line really stood out at me. I think it is very true. Like right on point.

Most of our hurting comes from relationships. I know that I have experienced hurt from many relationships over the years. From girls, guys (as friends of course), even family. 

Relationships. I am sure I have said it somewhere in a post before, but I think it is the coolest thing that we are able to have in this life. Meeting new people that are genuine, good people. I feel like I can usually tell after a few minutes (not all the time, cause some people are sneaky). But I think that is awesome.

Hurt is a part of life. When these relationships cause hurt though, it can be hard to move past the sadness and accept healing from that same person or others. We are all going to hurt someone. It is inevitable. Hopefully you don't just continually choose to because...that's kind of mean.

I don't want to ruin the book for you if you haven't read it, but (spoiler alert) in the book the main character has to relieve his hurt, pain, and sadness after his daughter has been kidnapped and murdered. I cannot even imagine how that would be and I hope I never ever come close to having to know. 

Healing is a part of life as well. Everyone heals differently after being hurt. Some cry. Some exercise. Some don't heal as well as others. They might drink, sulk, never process the situation, etc. 

I wanted to give an example that I do not think my dad will mind me giving. I was recently at a funeral for my grandfather (dad's dad). I did not know him well, which was unfortunate because I never really knew my grandparents. Anyways, Papaw Jeff was a World War II Vet. He was in Pearl Harbor when it was bombed on December 7, 1941. He was young and had to jump off 2 ships due to the bombs and ships sinking. I was only around him 1 time that I can recall him discussing that day. He was very broken up about it still and this is some 50+ years later. Anyways, Papaw Jeff was not the ideal father/husband. I am not saying this to be mean or rude. We all make mistakes (isn't that the truth). I say that to say this. At the funeral, I watched as my dad and his other 3 other brothers laid their father to rest. 

On the drive to Monticello I kept thinking about how my dad was going to react at the funeral. I knew that he was greatly hurt from his dad growing up and I kept thinking "I bet he thinks this will not be that tough". I knew that he would not be able to stand tall, filled with pride and pretend he was all ok. I was right. Even through all of the pain and hurt he had found some sort of healing over the years through others.

I thought this was a good story to follow up with the quote. "I suppose that since most of our hurting comes through relationships, so will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside." It just perfectly depicts it for me. Sometimes that healing may take longer than expected.

I don't know what you believe in. If you believe in God, hey we have something in common. If not, we can still be friends, I am pretty cool.

My relationship with God is like most others. It is up and down. God's relationship with me is flawless though. When I feel hurt frequently by others I tend to turn that hurt into a shield and project it onto God as well, like he has done something wrong to me. That is silly though, because our healing comes from him. 

"I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside". How many times have you thought this? I have thought it a ton. 

I hope this made a lick of sense. I am a little bit rusty.  


-Adam